Self exam

“Most people fail to perform emotional self-examinations, and too often if they do, they ruminate on what they find instead of seeking resolution and healing.  Similarly, we fail to conduct routine checks to ensure that the persons we work with or live with are really being open and honest with their feelings.  I fear that the busyness of our lives lends itself to assumptions, expectations, and considerations that often allow unresolved issues from our past to multiply into a cancerous growth within our soul.  Ignoring the accumulations of wounds, offenses, slights, and injustices that we have endured can lead to an outbreak of serious problems that debilitate relationships and end productivity.”

Submission

Insights 3
I am going to preach a hard doctrine to you now. The submission of one's will is really the only uniquely personal thing we have to place on God's altar. It is a hard doctrine, but it is true. The many other things we give to God, however nice that may be of us, are actually things He has already given us, and He has loaned them to us. But when we begin to submit ourselves by letting our wills be swallowed up in God's will, then we are really giving something to Him. And that hard doctrine lies at the center of discipleship. There is a part of us that is ultimately sovereign, the mind and heart, where we really do decide which way to go and what to do. And when we submit to His will, then we've really given Him the one thing He asks of us. It is the only possession we have that we can give, and there is no resulting shortage in our agency as a result. Instead, what we see is a flowering of our talents and more and more surges of joy. Submission to Him is the only form of submission that is completely safe.
Proverb 3 5-6  “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thy own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He will direct thy paths.”
Sharing Insights from My Life,  NEAL A. MAXWELL, devotional address was delivered at BYU on 12 January 1999

powerless in marriage

This has helped us. Perhaps it will help you.-Allen and Linda

“First let’s talk about what we don’t have power over.  We have no power over the attitudes and actions of other people.  We can’t make our spouse grow up.  We can’t stop our spouse from exhibiting a troublesome habit or character flaw.  We can’t force our spouse to come home on time for dinner, to refrain from yelling at us, or to initiate conversations with us.  The fruit of the Spirit is self-control, not other control. (Gal. 5:23).  God himself does not exercise such power over us, even though He could.  (2 Peter 3:9).
We don’t have the power to make our spouse into the person we would like him or her to be, but we don’t have the power to be the person we would like to be, either.  In and of ourselves we are powerless to change such things as our short temper or our eating problem.  To some extent, we all do what we have to do  (Rom 7:15).  It’s helpful to be aware of this powerlessness in our marriage, so we can be more understanding of our spouses’ struggle.  Also, being aware of our powerlessness over ourselves can help us realize how long it may take to learn to set appropriate limits in our marriage.”

Boundaries in Marriage, Henry Cloud, p 44

“Know Thyself” One Day at a Time in Alanon..........

“Know Thyself”
One Day at a Time in Alanon
June 18

The Greek philosopher Socrates said:  “Know thyself.” We are to see ourselves as we really are-our characters, motives, attitudes and actions.

A deeply rooted habit of self-justification may tempt me to explain away each fault as I uncover it.  Will I blame others for what I do on the ground that I am compelled to react to their wrongdoing?

It has been said that even a trained psychiatrist cannot analyze himself because of such blocks.  This will challenge me to prove that personal honesty and humility can achieve what superior knowledge often cannot.

Today’s Reminder

“Perfection is a long way off, but improvement can be made to happen every day.”

Atonement...

In moments of intense struggle, sometimes I look up and cry out, “God, I don’t know. I don’t know how my life is going to work out. But you do. Help me keep going. Help me have patience until I can understand.”
I have realized that God will not deny any of us the opportunity to have a personal experience with Jesus Christ. Life gets real. But the Atonement is real too. In crucibles of doubt and uncertainty, we have the opportunity to seek the Savior the most earnestly, the most sincerely, and come to know on a profound level how the Atonement applies to us personally. When we come unto Christ, He will come to us.
In Isaiah 49:23, God is speaking to His covenant people about the time when His promises will be fulfilled. The Lord tells them, “And thou shalt know that I am the Lord: for they shall not be ashamed that wait for me.”
In times of ambiguity and uncertainty, I will keep my covenants and wait for Him. He will come. His promises will be fulfilled. I will see Him and know Him “even as also I am known” (1 Corinthians 13:12). And I will not be ashamed that I waited for Him.

cowboy lessons

n her fine book called Adversity, Elaine Cannon shares this valuable example:
An old cowboy said he had learned life's most important lessons from Hereford cows. All his life he had worked cattle ranches where winter storms took a heavy toll among the herds. Freezing rains whipped across the prairies. Howling, bitter winds piled snow into enormous drifts. Temperatures might drop quickly to below zero degrees. Flying ice cut into the flesh. In this maelstrom of nature's violence most cattle would turn their backs to the ice blasts and slowly drift downwind, mile upon mile. Finally, intercepted by a boundary fence, they would pile up against the barrier and die by the scores.
But the Herefords acted differently. Cattle of this breed would instinctively head into the windward end of the range. There they would stand shoulder-to-shoulder facing the storm's blast, heads down against its onslaught.
"You always found the Herefords alive and well," said the cowboy. "I guess it's the greatest lesson I ever learned on the prairies--just face life's storms." [Elaine Cannon, Adversity (Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1987), pp. 133¬34]
A person who understands that life is schooling is more likely to benefit from adversity than one who expects only happiness in life. [Cannon, Adversity, p. 46]
Dallin H. Oaks,  Brigham Young University on 17 January 1995.

The Cycle of your family

This has helped us. Perhaps it will help you.-Allen and Linda

I come from a family in which the last three generations on my father’s side have created a heartbreaking trail of damaged families and lives. Looking at the situation honestly has imbued me with a determination not to repeat the cycle of destruction I grew up with. I have found two principles to be particularly helpful:
First, set appropriate boundaries between yourself and family members who are still caught in the cycle. You can love and forgive and at the same time choose not to associate with those whose actions are incompatible with breaking the cycle.
Second, be patient with yourself. We are each given talents and gifts in this life. We are also given unique challenges to overcome. Heavenly Father knows my challenges. When I turn to Him, He helps me see that I am not a bad parent because I struggle with the same behaviors that my parents and other family members display. He loves me for fighting against those behaviors. Unlike the adversary, who teaches me that my family’s dysfunction both defines and eternally limits me, my loving Heavenly Father reveals to me the beautiful miracle of a life emerging from the ashes of sin.

From Questions and Answers, Ensign, June, 2012