THERE IS A SOLUTION.....

Back to our basic question: Do you have a problem? Do you deal with something that you’ve tried everything you can think of to solve, and yet it continues and even gets worse? If you have a problem that fits this description, then this course is for you. If you don’t, then you’re probably not ready—yet. That’s the only requirement for being part of this course—that you have a problem that you can’t whip, and you’re ready to admit it.

THERE IS A SOLUTION

Don’t be afraid to admit that you can’t beat this problem on your own. That is the first step to overcoming it. There is a solution, I promise you. And this solution will not solve just the original problem that brought you here but all problems you apply it to.

He Did Deliver Me From Bondage, Colleen C. Harrison, Windhaven Publishing, p 4

Boundaries in Marriage,......

“When we neglect setting boundaries with ourselves and focus instead on setting boundaries with those we think sorely need limits, we have limited our own spiritual growth.  As in any growth process, spiritual growth proceeds to the level that we invest in it.  When we only invest in changing someone else, they get the benefit of our efforts, but the important work we have to do has been neglected….

“If your spouse is…angry, irresponsible, inattentive, and self-centered, you will not grow if you continue to react to his sins. This is not seeking first God’s kingdom and righteousness (Matt. 6:33); it is seeking satisfaction from another person (codependency.)

“We must become more deeply concerned about our own issues than our spouse’s.  We cannot overstate the importance of this idea.  One of the most frightening facts in existence is that God will someday call us to account for our lives here on earth: ‘For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive what is due him for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad’ (2 Cor 5:10).  At that meeting we will not be able to blame, hide behind, or deflect to the sins and problems of our spouse.  It will be a one-on-one conversation with God.

“Boundaries with yourself are a much bigger issue than boundaries in you marriage.  In the end, while we are only partly responsible for growing our marriages, we are completely responsible to God for developing our very souls.  You are responsible for half of you marriage and all of your soul. Boundaries on yourself are between you and God.”

Boundaries in Marriage,  Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend, p65-66

Caring a Glass of Water..........FHE

A young lady confidently walked around the room while explaining stress management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone was sure she was going to ask the ultimate question: 'Half empty or half full?' However, she fooled them all.

"How heavy is this glass of water?" she inquired with a smile.

Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. To 20 oz.

She replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance. In each case it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."

She continued, "That's the way it is with stress. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on."

"As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden -- holding stress longer and better each time. So, as early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down. Don't carry them through the evening and into the night.... Pick them up tomorrow.

"Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment. Relax; pick them up later after you've rested. Life is short. Enjoy it and the now 'supposed' stress that you've conquered!"

Sent to us by Derrick P.

To My Grandchildren.......

Years ago a friend of mine spoke of his grandmother. She had lived a full life, always faithful to the Lord and to His Church. Yet one of her grandsons chose a life of crime. He was finally sentenced to prison. My friend recalled that his grandmother, as she drove along a highway to visit her grandson in prison, had tears in her eyes as she prayed with anguish, “I’ve tried to live a good life. Why, why do I have this tragedy of a grandson who seems to have destroyed his life?”

The answer came to her mind in these words: “I gave him to you because I knew you could and would love him no matter what he did.”

To My Grandchildren, Pres., Henry B. Eyring, Ensign, Nov., 2013

How Do I Help.......

How do I help?

(One Day at a Time)

Of course I am obligated, by compassion and a common humanity, to help others.  But this does not mean I should do for them what they ought to do for themselves.  I have no right to deprive anyone else of the challenge to meet his own responsibility.  Although mutual dependence is one of the comforts and rewards of marriage, each partner must do his own job, carry his own share of the burden.  If he fails in his duties, my assuming them will only weaken his will to accept his share of the responsibility.

How can I best help the people in my life?  By not interfering when he gets into difficulties.  I must detach myself from his shortcomings, neither making up for them nor criticizing them.  Let me learn to play my own role, and leave his to him.  If he fails in it, the failure is not mine, no mater what others may think or say about it.

“For though we are made especially for the sake of one another,

still each of us has his own tasks.  Otherwise another’s faults

would harm me, which God has not willed, in order that my

happiness may not depend on another.

Things We Cannot Solve, We Just Have To Survive......

Some frustrations we must endure without really solving the problem. Some things that ought to be put in order are not put in order because we cannot control them. Things we cannot solve, we must survive.

If you resent someone for something he has done—or failed to do—forget it.

Too often the things we carry are petty, even stupid. If you are still upset after all these years because Aunt Clara didn’t come to your wedding reception, why don’t you grow up and forget it?

If you brood constantly over a loss or a past mistake, look ahead—settle it.

We call that forgiveness. Forgiveness is powerful spiritual medicine. To extend forgiveness, that soothing balm, to those who have offended you is to heal. And, more difficult yet, when the need is there, forgive yourself!

I repeat, “John, leave it alone. Mary, leave it alone.”

Purge and cleanse and soothe your soul and your heart and your mind and that of others.

A cloud will then be lifted, a beam cast from your eye. There will come that peace which surpasseth understanding.

The Lord said, “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid” (John 14:27).

Balm of Gilead, Elder Boyd K. Packer, Ensign, Nov., 1987

Diference Between You and Your Problems....

“So as an old casualty myself, I plead with you to make a distinction between your problems and yourselves—there is a crucial difference. Problems can be painful and dark and disappointing—but we are not painful and dark and disappointing. We are children of God and must see ourselves as God sees us, recognizing the positive in ourselves, the part God loves so much, even as we work on what we may think are our freckles and warts and blemishes and big noses. You can change how you see yourself. You can! That is why a new year is so exhilarating. We have the opportunity to see things better than before. We can, as Shakespeare said, "Pluck from the memory a rooted sorrow, Raze out the written troubles of the brain" (William Shakespeare, Macbeth, act 5, sc. 3, lines 40–41).

Be Renewed in the Spirit of Your Mind, Patricia T. Holland, BYU, Sept 06, 1988