With respect to discerning what to do for others, here also the Lord is our model. We see that he usually avoids doing for us what we can reasonably do for ourselves-what we need to do for ourselves. Much grace is given after or as we do all that we can do (see 2 Nephi 25:23). He also often waits for us to ask.
Here, however, are some forms of grace that people greatly need and that can produce unexpected little miracles: empathy, patience, tolerance, firmness, forgiveness, listening, kind words, hugs, kisses, smiles, a helping hand, words of encouragement and praise. These are attributes of godliness; they draw the Spirit into our relationships.
We remember as well that very powerful grace which is received through the Holy Ghost for another in the form of inspired words, spiritual gifts, and so forth. Notice that these have little to do with unsolicited advice-giving, or taking over because we think another can’t work out his or her own problems with the Lord (or with their family). We may indeed be called to intervene in another’s life quite directly, but this intervention usually comes most effectively after careful spiritual purification, preparation, and planning.
Spiritual Lightening, M. Catherine Thomas, pp 12-13