Only the addict can set himself free from the compulsion to use. The non-addict cannot force him to want sobriety, although many of us feel we should be able to correct a situation that is causing us so much suffering.
Yet the more I try to force the issue, with tears, reproaches and threats, the worse it gets.
ARP can help me to cope with the situation in an entirely different way, by showing me how to recognize and correct my mistaken attempts to force a solution.
The same philosophy applies to the problems we face after the long-desired sobriety has come to pass.
I am powerless over addiction and its effects on another person; I cannot make him sober, no more than I can be responsible for his using. The First Steps tells me this, and it tells me too, that I must acknowledge that my life has become unmanageable. My first task is to manage my own life, whether or not the addict is still using.
“Help me to find peace of mind, within myself by uniting myself with God’s power and guidance. That is the spiritual way out of my difficulties-the only sure way.”