Be Renewed In Spirit.........

It is possible to live with all your power in the present. You can replace old doubts with new hopes. So clean out that closet in your mind and haul a load of needless negative baggage off to D.I. 

You can begin by practicing just three simple exercises in right thinking: (1) Remember that any failure is only temporary in the gospel of Jesus Christ. The decision to carry on in spite of disappointment turns the worst circumstance into success. (2) There can be no self-pity--and that means no self-pity. Nothing dissipates our strength faster or more quickly drives away those who would truly wish to help us than self-pity. (3) Eliminate all "would haves," "could haves," "should haves," and " if onlys." What has happened is past and finished. Leave it there. Profound power will come in living and making things right in the present. 

Be Renewed in the Spirit of your Mind PATRICIA T. HOLLAND Brigham Young University on 6 September 1988

We Are Not Responsible....

We are not responsible

The power of hope expressed in these examples is sometimes rewarded with repentance and reformation, but sometimes it is not. Personal circumstances vary greatly. We cannot control and we are not responsible for the choices of others, even when they impact us so painfully. I am sure the Lord loves and blesses husbands and wives who lovingly try to help spouses struggling with such deep problems as pornography or other addictive behavior or with the long-term consequences of childhood abuse.

Whatever the outcome and no matter how difficult your experiences, you have the promise that you will not be denied the blessings of eternal family relationships if you love the Lord, keep His commandments, and just do the best you can. When young Jacob “suffered afflictions and much sorrow” from the actions of other family members, Father Lehi assured him, “Thou knowest the greatness of God; and he shall consecrate thine afflictions for thy gain” (2 Nephi 2:1–2). Similarly, the Apostle Paul assured us that “all things work together for good to them that love God” (Romans 8:28).

Dallin H. Oaks, “Divorce,” Liahona, May 2007, 70–73

“God helps those who don’t try to take over His work.”

I have tried everything.  He won’t listen to reason.  I’ve yelled and complained, paid bills, threatened to leave—nothing works”.

Of course not.  This is you applying the force, and that never works.  I suggest you stop taking action.  The only force that can change the pattern is the pressure that builds up inside of him when the family refuses to react any longer.  When he can’t count on your helping him, when you won’t assuage his guilt by fighting with him and you refuse to get him out of trouble then he’ll be compelled to face up to things.  In other words, try inaction instead of constantly figuring out something to do about him.

It is not easy to restrain ourselves from reaction to what others do that seems to affect us.  A healthy detachment brings about the very changes we were powerless to make by continually fighting the problem.

“God helps those who don’t try to take over His work.”