Co-dependency......

“Christlike service often teaches others to help themselves and is motivated by the Holy Spirit and by the inner character trait of charity. If I serve to prove my worth, to look good, to feel good, to be seen of men, to prove that I am needed, to feel important, it proviteth me nothing. If I am dependent on the receiver to act a certain way, to thank me with a certain fervency, or to change their thoughts of action to suit me, my giving has crossed over the line from Christian service to codependency. The term “codependency” originally referred to wives of alcoholics. It meant that the wife was dependent on the spouse who was dependent on the alcohol. She was addicted to “fixing” him, helping him, covering up for him, serving him in numerous ways that actually weakened him and enabled him to stay stuck in his alcoholic behavior. The codependent title soon became a catch-all for any behavior where a person is focused on changing another person instead of sticking to his or her own stewardship (a typical mote/beam problem) or using service as a way of pleasing and manipulating others”.

It is also, as Allen puts it, “Wrapping your emotions around someone or something and letting them or it control you.

Following Christ’s Example......

Following Christ’s Example:

          What is Christ’s pattern for service?  He mercifully does for us only what we cannot do for ourselves, he never infringes on our agency, and allows us to suffer the consequences of our own choices.  In the Bible dictionary, a portion of the definition of “Grace” is to “receive strength and assistance to do good works that (individuals) otherwise would not be able to maintain if left to their own means.  This grace is an enabling power that allows men and women to lay hold on eternal life and exaltation, after they have expended their own best efforts.”

          If we follow Christ’s pattern, we will not step in and keep someone from expending their own best efforts.  We will not do for others what would strengthen them to do for themselves.  To do so sends a powerful crippling message that they aren’t good enough or strong enough to accomplish it on their own.

Seek Sunlight......

"I am asking that we stop seeking out the storms and enjoy more fully the sunlight. I am suggesting that as we go through life we 'accentuate the positive.' I am asking that we look a little deeper for the good, that we still voices of insult and sarcasm, that we more generously compliment virtue and effort.

"I am not asking that all criticism be silenced. Growth comes of correction. Strength comes of repentance. Wise is the man who can acknowledge mistakes pointed out by others and change his course.

"What I am suggesting is that each of us turn from the negativism that so permeates our society and look for the remarkable good among those with whom we associate, that we speak of one another's virtues more than we speak of one another's faults, that optimism replace pessimism, that our faith exceed our fears." (Ensign, April 1986, p. 2-4). Pres. Gordon B. Hinckley

Seek Sunlight......

"I am asking that we stop seeking out the storms and enjoy more fully the sunlight. I am suggesting that as we go through life we 'accentuate the positive.' I am asking that we look a little deeper for the good, that we still voices of insult and sarcasm, that we more generously compliment virtue and effort.

"I am not asking that all criticism be silenced. Growth comes of correction. Strength comes of repentance. Wise is the man who can acknowledge mistakes pointed out by others and change his course.

"What I am suggesting is that each of us turn from the negativism that so permeates our society and look for the remarkable good among those with whom we associate, that we speak of one another's virtues more than we speak of one another's faults, that optimism replace pessimism, that our faith exceed our fears." (Ensign, April 1986, p. 2-4). Pres. Gordon B. Hinckley

Embrace Each Day......

Doesn’t it seem foolish to spoil sweet and joyful experiences because we are constantly anticipating the moment when they will end?

Do we listen to beautiful music waiting for the final note to fade before we allow ourselves to truly enjoy it? No. We listen and connect to the variations of melody, rhythm, and harmony throughout the composition.

Do we say our prayers with only the “amen” or the end in mind? Of course not. We pray to be close to our Heavenly Father, to receive His Spirit and feel His love.

We shouldn’t wait to be happy until we reach some future point, only to discover that happiness was already available—all the time! Life is not meant to be appreciated only in retrospect. “This is the day which the Lord hath made … ,” the Psalmist wrote. “Rejoice and be glad in it.”

Brothers and sisters, no matter our circumstances, no matter our challenges or trials, there is something in each day to embrace and cherish. There is something in each day that can bring gratitude and joy if only we will see and appreciate it.
Of Regrets and Resolutions, Pres. Dieter F. Uchtodorf, Ensign, Nov., 2012

Loves You!!

God closes doors no man can open & God opens doors no man can close

Trust our Father in Heaven
Trust He is there
Trust He cares
Trust He has our best interest
Trust in His Timing

Our Father in Heaven loves you, you are precious beyond measure!...............YES, WE MEAN YOU

MAKE PEACE WITH YOUR PAST

SO

IT WON’T MESS UP YOUR FUTURE

Don’t judge past behavior by present knowledge

Discouragement.....

Discouragement

(Bruce C. Hafen)

          “Some Church members feel weighed down with discouragement about the circumstances of their personal lives, even when they are making sustained and admirable efforts.  Frequently, these feelings of self-disappointment come not from wrongdoing, but from stresses and troubles for which we may not be fully to blame.  The Atonement of Jesus Christ applies to these experiences because it applies to all of life.  The Savior can wipe away all of our tears, after all we can do….

          “The Savior’s atonement is…the healing power not only for sin, but also for carelessness, inadequacy, and all mortal bitterness.  The Atonement is not just a sinners”.  The Atonement of Jesus Christ covers more than the consequences of sin.  The Atonement covers all the effects of the Fall of Adam.

Elder Neal A. Maxwell explained:

          “Since not all human sorrow and pain is connected to sin, the full intensiveness of the Atonement involved bearing our pains, infirmities, and sicknesses, as well as our sins.  Whatever our sufferings, we can safely cast our ‘care upon him; for he careth for [us]’ (1 Peter 5:7)” (Not My Will, But Thine” [1988], 51).

Insight of the Holy Ghost....

The Holy Ghost will teach us, providing perspective about “things as they really are, and…things as they will be” (Jacob 4:13; D&C 39:6; 75:10). This sense of proportion is needed daily!  Not only does He reach mortals in their many niches, but the Holy Spirit “searcheth all things, yea, the deep things of God,” and this must be so because the “things of the Spirit of God…are spiritually discerned” (1 Corinthians 2:10, 14).  The Holy Spirit is thus ready, if we are, to take us well beyond being superficial so that we can learn the things of most worth.

            The ways in which the Holy Ghost teaches are many.  More than once President Marion G. Romney echoed the following: “I always know when I am speaking under the inspiration of the Holy Ghost because I always learn something from what I’ve said’ (quoted in Packer, Teach Ye Diligently, 304).

            In such situations, the substance conveyed is significant, but so is our realization of what is happening! For me, the message is not a whole discourse, but a phrase or a sentence.

Brigham Young taught, "There is not a single condition of life that is entirely unnecessary; there is not one hour's experience but what is beneficial to all those who make it their study, and aim to improve upon the experience they gain"

Healing Your Soul.....

I know that God did not design us to be victims.  Even as we experience the selfish, painful, sometimes evil choices of other people, we are not without the same power to choose not to be further molested by the ghost of our hideous experiences.  We always have a choice.  The tragedy is that so many people become trapped in hell long after their wounds are inflicted.  Just as our bodies are designed to heal and recover from our physical injuries, our souls want to help us to recover from the internal wounds that we’ve suffered.  Without realizing it, however, we are often the ones holding up the process because we do not have the tools, the role models, the maturity, or the spiritual insight to move forward and allow healing to take place.  We have not learned early-detection procedures that would allow us to enjoy a healthier, more balanced quality of life.”

Let it Go, by J. D. Jakes, p 32