“Do not judge past behavior with present knowledge.....”

“There is something in us, at least in too many of us, that particularly fails to forgive and forget earlier mistakes in life—either mistakes we ourselves have made or the mistakes of others. That is not good. It is not Christian. It stands in terrible opposition to the grandeur and majesty of the Atonement of Christ. To be tied to earlier mistakes—our own or other people’s—is the worst kind of wallowing in the past from which we are called to cease and desist.”

Jeffrey R. Holland, BYU Devotional, January 13, 2009

Remember—“Do not judge past behavior with present knowledge.”

The Family, HENRY B. EYRING, B Y U, 5 November 1995

“We cannot control what others choose to do, and so we cannot force our children to heaven, but we can determine what we will do. And we can decide that we will do all that we can to bring down the powers of heaven into that family we want so much to have forever.

A key for us is in the proclamation in this sentence: "Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ."

What could make it more likely that people in a family would love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and obey the law? It is not simply teaching them the gospel. It is in their hearing the word of God and then trying it in faith. If they do, their natures will be changed in a way that produces the happiness we seek.”

The Family, HENRY B. EYRING,  B Y U, 5 November 1995

His Desire is to Share.........

“We see such a limited part of the eternal plan He has fashioned for each one of us. Trust Him, even when in eternal perspective it temporarily hurts very much. Have patience when you are asked to wait when you want immediate action. He may ask you to do things which are powerfully against your will. Exercise faith and say, ‘Let Thy will be done.’ Such experiences, honorably met, prepare you and condition you for yet greater blessings. As your Father, His purpose is your eternal happiness, your continuing development, your increasing capacity. His desire is to share with you all that He has” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1991, 118; or Ensign, Nov. 1991, 86 ). Elder Richard G. Scott

When I am desperat.....

When I say to myself that I am going to turn all my problems over to God, this does not give me leave to shirk my responsibilities.  I have been given certain tools with which to run my life, and the free will to use them.  They include judgment, intelligence, good will and the power to reason.  Perhaps much of my trouble stems from having misused these tools.  Judgment may have been warped by resentment, my intelligence by failure to face issues honestly.  God will can be lost when we are unable to be tolerant of the faults of others.  The power to reason can be dulled when we fail to detach ourselves from the emotional content of a problem.

When I am desperate enough to ask for help, I will not expect it to come in the form of easy solutions.  I must play a part in solving my problems, but God will provide the guidance and the strength to take the right action.

“I pray for the wisdom to understand my difficulties clearly and honestly, and for the strength to do something constructive about them.  I know I can count on God’s help in this.

Cling to the Savior.....

Cling to the Savior

Russell M. Nelson “Set in Order Thy House:  Ensign, Nov. 2001

Given to us by Trent

As we go through life, even through very rough waters, a father’s instinctive impulse to cling tightly to his wife or to his children may not be the best way to accomplish his objective.  Instead, if ye will lovingly cling to the Savior and the iron rod of the gospel, his family will want to cling to him and to the Savior.

This lesson is surely not limited to fathers.  Regardless of gender, marital status, or age, individuals can choose to link themselves directly to the Savior, hold fast to the rod of His truth, and lead by the light of that truth.  By so doing, they become examples of righteousness to whom others will want to cling.

(Story rafting with his family.  When he clung to his children they all fell out.  When he clung to the boat and his children clung to him they were safe.)

Trust in the Lord.....

Thy Will Be Done

As in all things, the Master is our perfect example. Who could have asked with more perfect faith, greater obedience, or more complete understanding than did He when He asked His Father in Gethsemane: “O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt” (Matt. 26:39). Later He pled twice again: “O my Father, if this cup may not pass away from me, except I drink it, thy will be done” (Matt. 26:42; see also Matt. 26:44).

How grateful I am personally that our Savior taught we should conclude our most urgent, deeply felt prayers, when we ask for that which is of utmost importance to us, with “Thy will be done” (Matt. 26:42). Your willingness to accept the will of the Father will not change what in His wisdom He has chosen to do. However, it will certainly change the effect of those decisions on you personally. That evidence of the proper exercise of agency allows His decisions to produce far greater blessings in your life. I have found that because of our Father’s desire for us to grow, He may give us gentle, almost imperceptible promptings that, if we are willing to accept without complaint, He will enlarge to become a very clear indication of His will. This enlightenment comes because of our faith and our willingness to do what He asks even though we would desire something else.

Richard G. Scott, “Trust in the Lord,” Ensign, Nov 1995, 16

Bullied.....

Have you bullied anyone lately?

Many of us think of bullying as something that occurs on the playground among children. The reality is adults are as capable of using bullying tactics as any child. What is a bully? Male or female, a colleague of equal or lesser status or even a person of authority, bullies treat others in an overbearing or intimidating manner and provide persistent, unwelcomed behavior. They take advantage of people perceived as vulnerable for the purpose of gaining control over the victim or social group. With so many different types of bullies, many may not even be aware that they are bullying. From cyber bullies who send threatening emails or parents who bully through intimidation and fear, this type of detrimental and aggressive behavior can be found in our workplaces, our communities and even in our homes. Unlike constructive criticism, bullying is persistent and leaves the recipient feeling powerless. Even the bystander may become scared to confront the bully and can often adopt the behaviors of the victim or the bully. As a witness to bullying, don’t we have a personal responsibility to take action?

Recognizing the bullies in our life may propel us to hold the mirror up to ourselves. Have we ever employed bullying tactics to get our way? Some argue that certain forms of bullying are acceptable to reinforce social norms. Is this true? Where is the line between constructive criticism and unnecessary brutality? These aggressive actions are role modeled through other adults and send messages to our youth on how to relate to others. What messages are we sending through our bullying behaviors, whether intentional or not?

“Trust in the Lord,” Profound Trust......

This life is an experience in profound trust—trust in Jesus Christ, trust in His teachings, trust in our capacity as led by the Holy Spirit to obey those teachings for happiness now and for a purposeful, supremely happy eternal existence. To trust means to obey willingly without knowing the end from the beginning (see Prov. 3:5–7). To produce fruit, your trust in the Lord must be more powerful and enduring than your confidence in your own personal feelings and experience.

Richard G. Scott, “Trust in the Lord,” Ensign, Nov 1995, 16

Resentment.....

If a sharp thorn or a splinter pierces my hand, what do I do?  I remove it as quickly as I can.  Surely I wouldn’t leave it there, hurting me until it festered and sent its infection throughout my body?

Yet what do I do with the thorns of resentment and hatred when they pierce my thoughts?  Do I leave them there and watch them grow, while I suffer increasingly from the pain?

True, resentment and hatred are more difficult to pull out of our thoughts than the physical thorn from a finger, but so much depends upon it that I will do my best to eliminate them, before their poison can spread.

If I really do not want to be hurt, and if I am sure that self-pity isn’t giving me a certain secret satisfaction, I will take all the steps necessary to free my mind from painful thoughts and emotions.  The best way to do this is not by grimly exerting will power, but by replacing those hurting ideas with thoughts of love and gratitude.

“Thou has not half the power to do me harm, as I have to be hurt.”

(William Shakespeare; Othello)

Humble Repentance.....

`It is so hard when sincere prayer about something we desire very much is not answered the way we want. It is especially difficult when the Lord answers no to that which is worthy and would give us great joy and happiness. Whether it be overcoming illness or loneliness, recovery of a wayward child, coping with a handicap, or seeking continuing life for a dear one who is slipping away, it seems so reasonable and so consistent with our happiness to have a favorable answer. It is hard to understand why our exercise of deep and sincere faith from an obedient life does not bring the desired result.

No one wants adversity. Trials, disappointments, sadness, and heartache come to us from two basically different sources. Those who transgress the laws of God will always have those challenges. The other reason for adversity is to accomplish the Lord’s own purposes in our life that we may receive the refinement that comes from testing. It is vitally important for each of us to identify from which of these two sources come our trials and challenges, for the corrective action is very different.

If you are suffering the disheartening effects of transgression, please recognize that the only path to permanent relief from sadness is sincere repentance with a broken heart and a contrite spirit. Realize your full dependence upon the Lord and your need to align your life with His teachings. There is really no other way to get lasting healing and peace. Postponing humble repentance will delay or prevent your receiving relief. Admit to yourself your mistakes and seek help now. Your bishop is a friend with keys of authority to help you find peace of mind and contentment. The way will be opened for you to have strength to repent and be forgiven.

Richard G. Scott, “Trust in the Lord,” Ensign, Nov 1995, 16