Detachment...

“We know that we are required to do all that we appropriately can do to promote the spiritual, emotional, and physical well-being of those the Lord has entrusted to our care.  But when older children and other adults behave in ways that are very distressing to us, it is easy to become involved in ways that do not help them or ourselves.  We may be so emotionally entangled that we think obsessively about what the other is doing, and this involvement is a blend of resentment, self-pity, and guilt.  These we need to set aside.  With our thoughts on bringing ourselves to the Savior, we will be less affected by what others are doing to the contrary.  Thus, one who wishes to enter into at-one-ment first learns a special detachment from others whose behavior they can’t control.  Detaching ourselves emotionally, ceasing to manipulate the other person’s life, letting that person take responsibility for his or her own behavior-this frees us from soul-sickening stress.  This detachment does not mean that we withdraw our love and compassion or any appropriate help.  It means that we can turn our attention to the things we have neglected, the things that truly are our concern.  This special detachment produces inner serenity as we take full responsibility for what we do, repenting and correcting ourselves as necessary, and giving others responsibility for what they do.  This kind of detachment is essential to any healthy relationship.”  Spiritual Lightening, Catherine Thomas, p88-89