The Healing Power of Forgiveness.....

What can we all learn from  experiences?  We need to recognize and acknowledge angry feelings. It will take humility to do this, but if we will get on our knees and ask Heavenly Father for a feeling of forgiveness, He will help us. The Lord requires us “to forgive all men”15 for our own good because “hatred retards spiritual growth.” 16 Only as we rid ourselves of hatred and bitterness can the Lord put comfort into our hearts.

Of course, society needs to be protected from hardened criminals, because mercy cannot rob justice.17 Bishop Williams addressed this concept so well when he said, “Forgiveness is a source of power. But it does not relieve us of consequences.”18 When tragedy strikes, we should not respond by seeking personal revenge but rather let justice take its course and then let go. It is not easy to let go and empty our hearts of festering resentment. The Savior has offered to all of us a precious peace through His Atonement, but this can come only as we are willing to cast out negative feelings of anger, spite, or revenge. For all of us who forgive “those who trespass against us,”19 even those who have committed serious crimes, the Atonement brings a measure of peace and comfort.

James E. Faust, “The Healing Power of Forgiveness,” Ensign, May 2007, 67–69

The Family.......

“We cannot control what others choose to do, and so we cannot force our children to heaven, but we can determine what we will do. And we can decide that we will do all that we can to bring down the powers of heaven into that family we want so much to have forever.

A key for us is in the proclamation in this sentence: "Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ."

What could make it more likely that people in a family would love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and obey the law? It is not simply teaching them the gospel. It is in their hearing the word of God and then trying it in faith. If they do, their natures will be changed in a way that produces the happiness we seek.”

The Family, HENRY B. EYRING,  B Y U, 5 November 1995

“The Healing Power of Forgiveness,”

Learn from Experience

What can we all learn from experiences?  We need to recognize and acknowledge angry feelings. It will take humility to do this, but if we will get on our knees and ask Heavenly Father for a feeling of forgiveness, He will help us. The Lord requires us “to forgive all men”15 for our own good because “hatred retards spiritual growth.” 16 Only as we rid ourselves of hatred and bitterness can the Lord put comfort into our hearts.

Of course, society needs to be protected from hardened criminals, because mercy cannot rob justice.17 Bishop Williams addressed this concept so well when he said, “Forgiveness is a source of power. But it does not relieve us of consequences.”18 When tragedy strikes, we should not respond by seeking personal revenge but rather let justice take its course and then let go. It is not easy to let go and empty our hearts of festering resentment. The Savior has offered to all of us a precious peace through His Atonement, but this can come only as we are willing to cast out negative feelings of anger, spite, or revenge (for that is what forgiving is). For all of us who forgive “those who trespass against us,”19 even those who have committed serious crimes, the Atonement brings a measure of peace and comfort.

James E. Faust, “The Healing Power of Forgiveness,” Ensign, May 2007, 67–69

Quiet Time......

Quiet

“I will begin today to include a quiet time in each day, remembering this especially in times of family upheavals and dissension.  If I provide the element of quiet in my home, I will at least not be adding to the turmoil.

Quiet can be achieved with complete silence, but if the silence has in it even a trace of anger or hostility, it loses all its power.  A grim silence is even more challenging to ta combatant than speech.  True quiet has the quality of serenity, acceptance, peace.

I must remind myself of this constantly in times of stress.

I can persuade myself to be quite by realizing that angry words cannot touch me unless I allow them to .  Most angry words have no basis in logic or reason anyway, so why need they hurt me?  If a wrathful explosion on the loved ones (addicts) part seems aimed at me, I will understand that it may only express his own guilt I will not allow this to be shifted to my shoulders.

In quiet and in silence the truth is made clear…”

Rude or Mean Words......

“…when somebody says something to you that is rude or designed to hurt,  ‘instead of going into unconscious reaction and negativity, such as attack, defense, or withdraw, you let it pass right through you’ as though you were transparent, so that it no longer hits a solid ‘wall’ inside you.  That does not mean of course that you don’t tell ‘that person that his or her behavior is unacceptable, if that is what you choose to do.  But that person no longer has the power to control your inner state.  You are then in your power-not in someone else’s.” 

“Light in the Wilderness,” M. Catherine Thomas, P 83-84

Dart Test......

Dart Test

A young lady named Sally, relates an experience she had in a seminary class, given by her teacher, Dr. Smith . She says that Dr. Smith was known for his elaborate object lessons. One particular day, Sally walked into the seminary and knew they were in for a fun day. On the wall was a big target and on a nearby table were many darts. Dr.   Smith told the students to draw a picture of someone that they disliked or someone who had made them angry, and he would allow them to throw darts at the person's picture. Sally's friend drew a picture of who had stolen her boyfriend. Another   friend drew a picture of his little brother. Sally drew a picture of a former friend, putting a great deal of detail into her drawing, even drawing pimples on the face. Sally was pleased with the overall effect she   had achieved. The class lined up and began throwing darts. Some of the students threw their darts with such force that their targets were ripping apart. Sally   looked forward to her turn, and was filled with disappointment when Dr. Smith, because of time limits, asked the students to return to their seats.   As Sally sat thinking about how angry she was because she didn't have a chance to throw any darts at her target. Dr. Smith began removing the target from the wall. Underneath the target was a picture of Jesus. A hush fell over the room as each student viewed the mangled picture of Jesus; holes and jagged marks covered His face and His eyes were pierced. Dr. Smith said only these words.... “In as much as ye have done it unto the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto Me."

Matthew 25:40. No other words were necessary; the tears filled eyes of the students focused only on the picture of Christ.

Love in our marriage......

n order to achieve this love in our marriage, we must give the energy of our heart to loving our spouse, regardless of how well they meet our expectations. This does not mean that we should desire or expect any less from our spouse, but that we should give our love freely no matter what point they are at on their personal road of progress.

In addition to strengthening my marriage, these realizations have altered my approach as a mother as I have come to better understand the meaning of charity. I am learning more how the love of our Heavenly Father truly knows no bounds.

When He Stopped Believing , NAME WITHHELD, JULY, 2012

Temple Marriage.....

The measure of our success as parents, however, will not rest solely on how our children turn out.  That judgment would be just only if we could raise our families in a perfectly moral environment, and that now is not possible.

“It is not uncommon for responsible parents to lose one or more of their children, for a time, to influences over which they have no control.  They agonize over rebellious sons and daughters.  They are puzzled over why they are so helpless when they have tried so hard to do what they should.  It is my conviction that those wicked influences one day will be overruled....

“We cannot overemphasize the value of temple marriage, the binding ties of the sealing ordinance, and the standards of worthiness required of them.  When parents keep the covenants they have made at the altar of the temple, their children will be forever bound to them” (Elder Boyd K. Packer. in Conference Report, Apr. 1992, 94 ;).

“Those born under the covenant, throughout all eternity, are the children of their parents.  Nothing except the unpardonable sin, or sin unto death, can break this tie.  If children do not sin as John says [1 John 5:16-17], ‘unto death,’ the parents may still feel after them and eventually bring them back to them again” (Joseph Fielding Smith, Doctrines of Salvation, 2:90)

And it came to pass that the voice of the Lord came to them in their affliction.”......

And it came to pass that the voice of the Lord came to them in their affliction.”  (Mosiah 24:13)
“If we were honest, we would admit that we desire to become more Christlike by navigating life with little toil, few barriers, and only one or two difficulties.  That is, we yearn to join our Prototype at the top of the hill without being required to climb upwards.  But the scriptures affirm that those who inherit the highest heaven are those who ‘overcome by faith’ (D&C 76: 53). The wise know firsthand that the most enduring lessons in life come in the furnace of affliction.  When we are stripped of pride and double-mindedness, when we are naked in our frightening finitude, when as mortals we find ourselves up against the wall of faith, then is the time we open ourselves to the strength that comes only from him who knows perfectly how to succor his people (D&C 62:1). Eventually we cry out with the apostle Paul: ‘Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my afirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me’ (2 Cor. 12:9).
When Ye Shall Receive These Things,  p 198

Here is Mission Advice for Parents, Series 10. Anonymous from a Mission President's wife:......

Here is Mission Advice for Parents, Series 10. Anonymous from a Mission President's wife:

Parents need to start letting their children work, and not reward them
for doing the things they should be doing anyway.

Start getting your children up at 6:30 in the morning. Help them learn
how to sleep at night, and not think that this is the time to go do things.

Teach them the value of scriptures. Don't just read to them or with
them, but talk about application.

Bear testimony, help them LEARN how to feel the spirit, and teach them
what it feels like.

Parents need to raise the bar on them selves. Get a great defense in
their home against the things of the world. Parents need to be pro-active and be prepared. They need to protect their children by thinking, "This could happen", and not just think: "This will never happen to us."

Mom's, there is no better place on earth that your son or daughter could be than in the mission field. If you are happy to have them gone, that's great. Don't feel guilty for thinking that way. You are still a great parent! Its not required that you are to be SAD to have them gone.

It is natural to feel a loss when they are gone. Of course you miss them! Life goes on and you will adjust to the change. Count your blessings that they are serving a mission. Don't dwell on sadness.

When you write letters, don't ever say, "I miss you." They will read that to mean you want them to come home. Only say how much you love them. I promise, they know you miss them, and they miss you. Just don't get them
focused on that. Always share your testimony, and spiritual xperiences, Not the every day stuff or bad stuff, they don't need to know that.

Well, I could go on, but I hope this helps. I love the mission, and
that great work. I do wish that parents would take this more seriously.
And realize what a blessing it is to serve, not a sacrifice.

-Anonymous Mission President's wife

Consider Staying Out of the Way......

“Of course, attentive parents and loved ones can nurture many aspects of a child’s potential and teach many skills. But each person comes with plans and covenants and predispositions already in place.  As nurturing efforts go forward, parents and teachers soon reach that core of the premortal spirit that will not respond to the most skillful shaping efforts.  This girl is going to play basketball no matter how many dolls we give her. It is peaceful wisdom to realize the formative power of pre-mortal events and to recognize the validity of many different attributes, strengths and weakness in the people who cross our path, as they work out their own salvation. Since we can never be sure what the Lord is doing with a person, it is our opportunity to consider staying out of the way.”

“Light in the Wilderness,” M. Catherine Thomas, P71

The will of God never takes you to where the grace of God will not protect you
Do what is right for those you love and then TRUST God
Sometimes  RIGHT is hard

Agency and Anger......

Satan damages and often destroys families within the walls of their own homes. His strategy is to stir up anger between family members. Satan is the “father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another” (3 Ne. 11:29; emphasis added.
A cunning part of his strategy is to dissociate anger from agency, making us believe that we are victims of an emotion that we cannot control. We hear, “I lost my temper.” Losing one’s temper is an interesting choice of words that has become a widely used idiom. To “lose something” implies “not meaning to,” “accidental,” “involuntary,” “not responsible”—careless perhaps but “not responsible.”
“He made me mad.” This is another phrase we hear, also implying lack of control or agency. This is a myth that must be debunked. No one makes us mad. Others don’t make us angry. There is no force involved. Becoming angry is a conscious choice, a decision; therefore, we can make the choice not to become angry. We choose!
To those who say, “But I can’t help myself,” author William Wilbanks responds: “Nonsense.”
“Aggression, … suppressing the anger, talking about it, screaming and yelling,” are all learned strategies in dealing with anger. “We choose the one that has proved effective for us in the past. Ever notice how seldom we lose control when frustrated by our boss, but how often we do when annoyed by friends or family?” (“The New Obscenity,” Reader’s Digest, Dec. 1988, 24; emphasis added).

Lynn G. Robbins, “Agency and Anger,” Ensign, May 1998, 80

Sometime RIGHT is Hard!!!

Do what is right for those you love and then TRUST God
Sometimes  RIGHT is hard

He Can Heal our Wounds......

“It happened on December 16, 1991—our eighth wedding anniversary. On that day our first son died as the result of a babysitter’s actions. He was only two and a half months old.

The following months and years were clouded by sadness, anger, disappointment, and hopelessness. The personal turmoil that overcame me is indescribable. Nothing anyone said or did eased my pain.

I had the rare opportunity to counsel with Elder James E. Faust (1920–2007), then of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles.

I asked many questions while he patiently listened. Elder Faust acknowledged that what I had experienced was certainly painful and extremely difficult. He shared several scriptures and talked about the need to work through my grief and find total submission to the Lord’s will in order to be reunited with my son again. He said, “Sylvia, this is about you now. I realize you are worried about your son, but in reality, you should be worried about yourself and how to rebuild your life. It won’t be easy, but you can mend your heart through the Atonement of Jesus Christ.”

I left our meeting still discouraged; his counsel seemed so simple and yet so unattainable. My mother felt hopeless as well since nothing she said to me seemed to help. I recall her saying, “Please have faith and hope in our Savior, and allow time to heal your wounds.”

In my personal journey to attain joy once again, I decided to take to heart the advice I had been given and find out what it truly meant to put my faith in the Savior. Things didn’t change immediately. But day by day and year by year, with the help of prayer and a growing testimony, I came to know without a doubt that the Savior can heal our wounds.”

Sylvia Erbolato Christensen, “He Can Heal Any Wound,” Ensign, Jul 2010, 8