This has helped us. Perhaps it will help you.-Allen and Linda
I come from a family in which the last three generations on my father’s side have created a heartbreaking trail of damaged families and lives. Looking at the situation honestly has imbued me with a determination not to repeat the cycle of destruction I grew up with. I have found two principles to be particularly helpful:
First, set appropriate boundaries between yourself and family members who are still caught in the cycle. You can love and forgive and at the same time choose not to associate with those whose actions are incompatible with breaking the cycle.
Second, be patient with yourself. We are each given talents and gifts in this life. We are also given unique challenges to overcome. Heavenly Father knows my challenges. When I turn to Him, He helps me see that I am not a bad parent because I struggle with the same behaviors that my parents and other family members display. He loves me for fighting against those behaviors. Unlike the adversary, who teaches me that my family’s dysfunction both defines and eternally limits me, my loving Heavenly Father reveals to me the beautiful miracle of a life emerging from the ashes of sin.
From Questions and Answers, Ensign, June, 2012