Carry Your Cross......

Another cross that isn't always visible but on occasion can be very heavy and worrisome, is the cross of self-unacceptance--a continuing rejection of oneself through self-condemnation and low self-appraisal. Can you find it in your heart to once in a while give yourself a good grade on your behavior? Or do you give yourself low marks no matter what you do because you carry the cross of self-unacceptance? An unannounced, but obviously self-imposed, personal-enemy-number-one status in regard to ourselves is a heavy cross. Sometimes in solitude and in humility there is only one person on earth that can be your advocate, and that must be you--someone who will not condemn you under that cross and cause you to fail. Being down on ourselves is destructive. As we bear this kind of a cross we have a tendency to reach only the low levels we expect of ourselves. What a cross it is to convince yourself, "I'm no good. I can't do it. I can't make it." What a cross! It doesn't even show. But by lifting that cross we can become more than we would have been had we not been required to carry the cross. Some of us spend too much time protecting our wounded selves.   Carry Your Cross MARVIN J. ASHTON Brigham Young University on 3 May 1987