“Family and friends become codependent as their feelings and actions increasingly depend on what the addict does or doesn’t do. Gradually, codependents lose control over their own emotions and behavior, and they deal with the addict by adapting and exhibiting the behaviors of rescuing, persecuting, and suffering. Codependency is at its strongest when loved ones become so preoccupied and worried about working out the salvation of the addict that their own salvation is neglected and jeopardized. In the end, everyone becomes his or her own problem. Codependents can learn to become responsible to each other, instead of for each other. Eventually, the codependent can acknowledge that he didn’t cause the addiction, he can’t cure the addiction, and that he can’t control the addiction. This acknowledgment is accomplished by the codependent learning how to love the addict as God loves him.”
Hold on to Hope, p 37
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