Self-pity blocks effective action. The more I indulge in it, the more I feel that the answer to my problem is a change in others and in society, not in myself. Thus I become a hopeless case.
Exhaustion is the result when I use my energy in mulling over the past with regret, or in trying to figure
ways to escape a future that has yet to arrive. Projecting an image of the future and anxiously hovering
over it, for fear that it will or won’t come true, uses all of my energy and leaves me unable to live today.
Yet living today is the only way to have a life.
I will have no thought for the future actions of others, neither expecting them to be better or worse as time goes on, for in such expectations I am really trying to create. I will love and let be.
All people are always changing. If I try to judge them, I do so only on what I think I know of them, failing to realize there is much I do not know. I will give others credit for attempts at progress and for having had many victories which are unknown.
I, too, am always changing, and I can make that change a constructive one, if I am willing. I CAN
CHANGE MYSELF. Others, I can only love.” (Codependent’s guide to the Twelve Steps, p 192)
Healing Through Christ Workbook,. P 140