Monday, September 10, 2012

Forgive vs., Forget.......

“Forgive vs. Forget.  Forgiving the loved one and yourself does not mean that the codependent will forget.  In most cases there are many horrible memories of what the person has done to you and what you have done to the them in the privacy of your home.  The chances of these memories quickly disappearing are not likely.  Simply said, amnesia is not part of recovery.  For example, adult children of alcoholics who were abused earlier in their lives have worked through the pain, and forgiven their parent, still have memories.  Do not measure the healing process by how much you forget, but how much you can forgive.  The healing codependent will remember the events, but having forgiven the addict and themselves, will have less emotional pain than if they had not forgiven.” (Hold On To Hope. P.  90.)

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